Archive for February 14th, 2008

Filed Under (Life, Rants) by Sean on February-14-2008

Ok, I feel I need to do drivers and humanity at large a service. Allow me to translate the meaning of the ubiquitous “Exit Only” phraseology present everywhere on highway signage to soccer moms, people yapping on the phone, or perhaps using this reading device whilst driving an 8 ton Cataract Escapade or your weapon-of-mass-planet-and-brain-cell-destruction of choice.

The phrase “Exit Only” apparently is transmogrified in many clueless drivers’ minds as “Only Exit.” I don’t know why dyslexic interpretation of street signs is so pervasive; perhaps that’s another topic of research entirely (maybe I’ll apply for a research grant to research stupidity on roadways).

Anyway, “Exit Only,” much to the dismay of many, actually means just that, Exit Only. That means the lane designated thusly is, you guessed it, an exit only!! Wow! It does not mean, to the consternation of many drivers, the only exit. So if you see a two lane exit and the right lane is designated “Exit Only,” it is not necessary to panic, drop your phone, beer, bluetooth headgear or hairdryer, and move your big ass vehicle into my lane to exit. You can stay right where you are, please.

I hope I’ve cleared that up for good. :)



Filed Under (Funny, Life) by Sean on February-14-2008

I had to really do a double take and make sure I wasn’t on a parody website of Amazon.com when I saw this. What’s next, a steering wheel attached dinner tray? Click to take a closer look:

Read a book and drive! Yes let’s read up while we’re chugging away in our 6 ton SUV.

That’s not the best part – you’ve got to visit the Amazon product page for this to get a load of the comments. I haven’t laughed this hard in months. Here are a few:

This product far exceeds my expectations. I was not only able to read a book while driving, but with my free hands I was able to talk on my cell phone, while also sipping on my latte! For some reason, everyone keeps honking at me and flipping me off, but it doesn’t matter, because I am too engrossed in my reading to care. I hope this comes back into stock, my 16 year old cousin could really use one.

I bought this item 6 months ago and its great. I can read while driving and best of all, I can move it to a new car everytime i crash my current one. So far, I’ve gone through 5 cars in 6 months, and this thing attaches to every steering wheel. My insurance company is threatening to drop me, but without this item, I simply wouldn’t be able to fill out my insurance form while driving. Too bad about the small type on their contracts, tho. Now I’ll need a 6th car!

Great for use as a music stand. It holds sheet music and allows me to use both hands to play my guitar while driving down the interstate. There was a lot of glare through the glass from outside but I was able to fix that by spray painting all my windows black. I found I could navigate using my iphone google maps while practicing my guitar. Highly recommended. I’ll use it in all my cars.

I love to read and I drive a lot for work, but it’s not a standard automobile. Does anybody know if this will fit a regulation school bus steering wheel?

This product works great, but one word of caution. The Easy Reader WILL NOT fit on a motorcycle’s steering assembly. The device fails to hold down the pages and rattles like crazy at any speed over 5 mph. Guess we’ll have to wait for a motorbike version to come out.

This product is absolutely marvelous! I never thought I would ever finish the new Harry Potter book, but this helped out TREMENDOUSLY! Not only that, it also holds my Hustlers. So now I have a free hand to reach into the glove box, and get out a kleenex! It would be a lot better if I was ambidextrous. But, that’s okay! Thanks to the Easy Reader, I am now fluent in turbo-tossing! Thanks again!

It’s like a touch of home in my car, I have a place to put my bathroom reading materials and a beer, all in convenient view of the road. No more having to fumble around in the passenger foot rest at high speeds looking for the 40 oz I just dropped. No more pages sticking to my hands while driving.

This has worked so well, I’ve bought one for each one of the eight cars I’ve had in the past 7 months.

Before I had to steer with my knees in order to turn the page. After buying this, I still steer with my knees, but I use my hands to adjust the on my homemade beer helmet! Never did I think drinking and driving could be so fun and educational!

Wow. I predict a sharp increase in the number of future Darwin Award nominees.

An extra star for cleaning out the gene pool.