Ok, I feel I need to do drivers and humanity at large a service. Allow me to translate the meaning of the ubiquitous “Exit Only” phraseology present everywhere on highway signage to soccer moms, people yapping on the phone, or perhaps using this reading device whilst driving an 8 ton Cataract Escapade or your weapon-of-mass-planet-and-brain-cell-destruction of choice.

The phrase “Exit Only” apparently is transmogrified in many clueless drivers’ minds as “Only Exit.” I don’t know why dyslexic interpretation of street signs is so pervasive; perhaps that’s another topic of research entirely (maybe I’ll apply for a research grant to research stupidity on roadways).

Anyway, “Exit Only,” much to the dismay of many, actually means just that, Exit Only. That means the lane designated thusly is, you guessed it, an exit only!! Wow! It does not mean, to the consternation of many drivers, the only exit. So if you see a two lane exit and the right lane is designated “Exit Only,” it is not necessary to panic, drop your phone, beer, bluetooth headgear or hairdryer, and move your big ass vehicle into my lane to exit. You can stay right where you are, please.

I hope I’ve cleared that up for good.

Tags: clueless drivers, drivers, driving, exit lane, exit only, highway signage, meaning, roadways, soccer moms, street signs, stupidity